Not Worth It
by purplecitrusella
Summary: Circumstances change and lives change. For tiger002's Tides of Tears contest.


_**A/N: This is for tiger002's Tides of Tears contest.**_

You were the one

no one ever expected

would end up

here.

Then again,

it's not something you expect,

this.

But circumstances change,

and lives change.

You have something to live up to.

Now.

You need to do this—

to be both

when both cannot be.

You are half of both,

but not quite one either.

So you walked—

no, more like barged

—into the office.

The office of the dean of admissions.

And you made a very hefty request.

You asked them

to let you have his place—

even though

he didn't have one.

You could've gotten thrown out.

But you didn't.

You managed to explain yourself.

And

for some bizarre reason,

they let you take his place.

Of course,

you were kind of there for a bizarre reason in the first place.

* * *

><p>It was May 5.<p>

You were planning on going to The Art Institute.

He was going to be accepted to Yale.

Everyone knew.

He was going

to be accepted.

It was a great day.

Until Moseby came in.

He announced

that the ship was sold.

Graduation was moved to the next day,

and the ship was to be dismantled.

Cody and Bailey were named co-valedictorians.

Obviously.

All students were given the day

to get their stuff sorted out.

You went to the Aqua Lounge to hang out.

Until she came in

and said that the Peace Corps had assigned her

to Chad.

Which, apparently,

is a country, not a person.

You can't have a long-distance relationship.

Not _that _long of a distance.

You had to break up,

but you couldn't.

So she did it for you.

You'd never felt a breakup

from this side before.

You were paralyzed

with pain.

You went to your room,

and you wouldn't come out.

Not until you felt

another intense pain

that you recognized

distinctly

as not your own.

It was Cody.

You still have the link

from the Gemini project.

You aren't—

weren't

—sure it will ever go away.

You learn through the link

that he wasn't accepted.

Cody

wasn't

accepted.

Everyone knew

he was going to be accepted.

It's quite shocking that he wasn't.

You want—

no, need

—to console him.

To tell him

that it will get better.

And as much as you want to get up...

you can't.

Your own pain is too much.

Or so you think.

* * *

><p>It's May 6.<p>

You still won't leave your room.

You lie in bed

for hours.

Even when you start to think

work might distract you from this girl

(wait, what?)

you still won't get up.

Then you hear something.

"If I'm not worth it to Yale,

I'm not worth it at all."

At first,

you think you're hearing things.

Then you realize that

your twin is saying these things.

To himself.

That makes you bolt upright.

You jump out of bed

and leave your room.

You charge across the hall,

but the door is open

and the room empty.

You fly to the Sky Deck,

somehow knowing

that's where he'll be

and hoping that

you heard wrong.

You arrive at the Sky Deck,

and there he is.

There's a strange bulge in one of his pockets

that no one else seems to notice.

It's a gun.

You hear him tell Bailey that he loves her.

You heard correctly.

He strides

nonchalantly

to the middle of the Sky Deck.

He pulls out the gun.

Bailey screams.

But she doesn't run to him.

Because she's not sure

what he will do

if she does.

Mom and Dad walk onto the Sky Deck.

They couldn't have picked a worse day

to arrive late.

Cody puts the gun

to his chest,

oblivious to the world

turning cold and still around him,

even though

he's staring straight at you.

You and everyone else

are in a paralyzed silence,

wanting to scream,

to move,

but unable to send the signal

to your vocal cords and muscles.

He pulls the trigger.

You hear someone scream

but you can't identify the voice

over the pain.

The pain

you should never have to feel.

The pain of death

without dying.

You collapse to the floor

and stay there

until the pain fades

and is replaced with emptiness.

And you scream with no end

when your thoughts are coherent enough

to put together the reason why:

Your twin brother just killed himself.

_**A/N: Quite morbid story, huh? How'd I do? I feel like I write better in a poetry format than I do in prose, and I'm wondering if readers feel the same way.**__** Last word count minus A/Ns and horizontal lines (if they count) is 724.**_


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